More stuff

Since my posts are far and few between, I'm going to break it down this time. I've had alot going on that I need to write about.

Court

As I had mentioned I went to court on Thursday for child support, once again. Gosh knows, I've been doing this for 10 years now, I should be used to it. The B.A. (Biological Asshole for those that don't remember) had filed the papers, and come all the way back from North Carolina to deal with this. According to CT state law, he's required to provide medical insurance for the kids. Well, according to him, his job has been taking out way too much per month and leaving him with gasp! only $60 a week! Asshole.... he should get a better job then! So, to make a long story short, court is supposed to start at 10 am, and its announced that she won't be there till 2 pm! I've taken the day off from work, and had to bring Molly with me, so I wasn't happy. He finally strolled in at 9:45, and then when we were supposed to be back at 1:30 to talk to child support enforcement, he didn't stroll in until 2:45pm! Now, one has to understand how this asshole works. He gloats. Big time. He blames everything that doesn't go his way on someone else. Its never his fault. He tells me in front of the lady that I should get a full time job if I want more money! Hello, this isn't about me. This is about being a responsible adult and paying support for your children that up until 2 years ago, you didn't give a shit about. Right now the kids are under Chris' insurance. And we're okie dokie with that but the point is that its the B.A.'s responsibility to provide it. So, I feel that he should give us a portion of what we're paying. But, get this : I would need to file separate paperwork and miss work again to address the subject. The B.A. agreed to up the child support to $98 a week, and $20 towards the arreage of almost 7 grand. And of course, I know that he only agreed to up the child support because he wasn't going to be paying the insurance anymore. But the judge was confused why he was agreeing to it, and asked him why. Well, he says its because " he cares about providing for his children as much as he can" or something to that effect. What a liar! He could give two shits about them. He had told me that he wasn't going to get a second job or find a better job because that would mean that "he would have to pay more for child support". And then had told me point blank that if I wanted more money, I should get a full time job! The jerk is all about himself. Anything that will benefit him he's all for. Any time he's missed paying support (which according to his arreage has been alot), or hasn't worked, or hasn't seen the kids, or has missed visitation, its ALWAYS someone elses fault. I can't stand it! Supposedly he's moving back to North Carolina in another month, and I'm crossing my fingers that he actually does because I want this asshole out of my kids' lives!

Saturday visitation with B.A.

I had been toying with the idea on Thursday, because of court, with cancelling for Saturday. On Thursday afternoon my Mom was over watching the kids and Ryan had gotten mad at her and called her some names and threw a shoe at her! I was completely appalled and needed to find a punishment. And it was determined that he needed to be grounded from doing anything fun. But Emilie wanted to go with the B.A. and I told Ryan he couldn't go. So Saturday morning comes around and the B.A. comes to the front door and Emilie starts to walk out and I tell him that Ryan isn't going. He gets belligerent and tells me that "its court ordered, he's allowed to take his son! I told him what he had done to his Nana and the B.A. said "fine" and left with Emilie. 10-15 minutes later I get a phone call. From the Police Department! The officer asks me what happened, telling me he has the B.A. down there and that the B.A. said I wouldn't let him take his son when its court ordered. I explain to him why I wouldn't let Ryan go and tell him yes, its court ordered, but then I mention all the times that the B.A. just hasn't shown up for visitation and has cancelled many times. And then I ask the officer one thing. "Will I be arrested if I refuse to let Ryan go?" Yup, I'm stuck. I thought about making a stand and refusing and getting arrested, but really with the kids home, I'd have no one to take care of them, and it really wouldn't look good for my job. Plus, I'm an upstanding cititzen. I work for the town, so I'm in constant contact with the police dept, and considering I'm dealing with them because of my recent bus accident, I didn't want to get more involved that I already am. (I also asked if the B.A. could be arrested if he brought the kids home even one minute late, and he said "yes" and that he'd inform the B.A. that it was my intention to do just that , if needed. I don't want to sink to his level, but at this point I need to play by his game). At this point in the conversation I'm extremely upset. Obviously. I'm crying to the officer on the phone, shaking so bad, I can't even hold a pen. I'm so upset that I basically have no say in this whole visitation thing. I've taken care of these kids from day 1. Its me that misses work. Its me that wakes in the middle of the night to clean up puke. And its me that has to deal with Ryan's outbursts, because the B.A. sashays in and out of these kids lives with alarming speed. Ryan was finally adjusting to the B.A. being gone when he came back. Now the kids get to deal with the B.A. being back but calling his mom names and threatening to have his mom arrested! Then, he'll have to adjust, once again, in a month, to the B.A. leaving again. Its just not good for the kids. The B.A. has already been talking to the kids about them visiting him in North Carolina for the summer, and I've already told him that I won't allow it unless its court ordered. So now I get to look forward to that. I need to be prepared to battle. I've already come to the conclusion that I'll need a lawyer. Its just the problem with coming up with $$ for the lawyer. Even the last time I was at court to change the visitation because the B.A. was cancelling all the time and even a few times just didn't show up, the judge still didn't see any need to change the order. What the heck? I've always thought that its whats in the best interest of the child, and really it isn't. I've raised these kids while he's been off doing his own thing, not paying child support, yet he gets all the rights. Its just not right. And yeah, I bought cigarettes. And I smoked a few. But, I'm not going to screw up now. Its back to the patch for me.

Saturday afternoon

This is the good part. Because Chris met some challenge at work, he was able to leave at 1 pm! It was soo nice to have him home. We played around in the yard with the kids, and did some yardwork, and decided to go out to dinner with a giftcard we've had since last Spring. Thats very unusual for us, because we very rarely bring the kids out to dinner. Number one, it gets expensive. And number two, its hard to keep 4 kids under control long enough to eat dinner in a real restaurant. But it went great! We went to Olive Garden, and since its up near my Dad's house, we stopped in and asked him to go with us. We don't get to see him that often, so it was a real treat. The waiting time was obviously HUGE, so we went back to my Dad's house and let the kids play and stuff. Finally back at the restaurant I can admit that the food was awesome! My first time there, and as busy as it was, the kids were amazingly well behaved. Table manners and everything. I was so proud of them! We came home late, and I'm embarrassed to admit I was out like a light by 10! And I had a really funky dream I'm not going to share here.

So thats my weekend in "BOOK FORM". Amazing how these words can just flow out of my fingertips with amazing speed. Guess I really needed to get some stuff out of my head. I might possibly need to post here a bit more often, cause then I won't have so much to say!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!