Am I overreacting?

Another weekend over with the kids spending the night at the B.A.'s. As you all know, I very much dislike the B.A. because of all that he's done to me and how he's behaved. The guy's a jerk. And he doesn't have a clue about parenting. He can pretend to, and he can tell me how his new wife does things. (even though her children were taken away from her!) but really I don't think he even tries.

Two weeks ago, when the kids came home on Sunday we ask them how the weekend went, what they did etc... We ask them every time they go. On my part its interest about what my children did when they weren't with me, and interest about what the B.A. did. Its as simple as I want to protect my children.

First thing I had a problem with was the fact that Ryan was allowed to play video games not appropriate for his age. Can't remember the name of it now, but it includes shooting and killing cops among other things. When I questioned the B.A. about it, he told me that his wife and him allow Z (the wife's son) to play them. And Z is only 11 yrs old. Now this is a big deal to me. I don't want my kids doing things simply because other kids are allowed to. Its not acceptable in my eyes. What upsets me even more is that the B.A. doesn't see where I'm coming from. He just doesn't get it! I told him that I hoped he'd agree with me and not feel as if I was telling him what to do. He agreed not to let Ryan play anymore.

Second thing is that the jerk doesn't feed them. Granted, its not going to kill them to miss lunch, but its his responsibility since he has them till 2pm, to feed them breakfast and lunch. The first thing Ryan and Emi say walking in the door is that they're hungry. So, I've talked to him about that too. I don't think he gets that these kids need to eat. They're growing. While it won't stunt they're growth, kids aren't meant to go 6 hours between eating. And the kids aren't comfortable asking him for something to eat, so they haven't.

Third thing is their bedtime. Again, its not going to kill them to go to bed late, but it messes with my semi-schedule that I have going for the summer. Emi told me tonight that while at the B.A.'s house last night, she didn't go to bed until 2:30 A.M.!!! She's only 10 yrs old!

See, I'm on a roll now. The B.A. has them every other Saturday. Do you think he calls them the 2 weeks in between visits??? Nope. Then he finally does have them for a day and a half, and leaves them with his new wife (that has called me a bitch in front of my kids). She'll take them to the store, and let them spend close to $10 of their own money on candy!! The B.A. will use the time he has with the kids to do yardwork, and errands and stuff for friends, leaving the kids their with his wife and her kids (my kids playmates, of course!) while he goes off and does his own thing.

Then there's the pillow thing. He had the kids bring their pillows to his house. Hello?!?! Buy them their own pillows for your house... I'm not going to supply their pillows! I've already had to remind him twice to make sure the kids have sunscreen on, and he doesn't even follow up with them when they leave to make sure they have everything. Emi left her toothbrush. Again, not such a big deal, but as a parent, his responsibility is to remind them and I think, help them get their things together.

It just sucks. I don't want the jerk in the kids lives in the first place, but you know, here in CT its all about the fathers. Screw the mothers who have spent every single day with their children. Its all about giving the bio-father a chance. And he's been given that chance and totally blows it.

I know, or at least can hope that the kids will see this jerk for what he really is as they get older. It just sucks wanting to protect my kids and having no say when they're with him.

And I know it seems as if I might be making a huge deal out of all this stuff. But its all this little stuff thats making me realize that the B.A. doesn't have a clue. So I just keep taking it one weekend at a time. But I seriously want to call the B.A. up and schedule a meeting to discuss all these things, but that wouldn't do much good either.