I don't know what to do

To give a little of the story first, I'll tell you whats supposed to be going on this weekend. Ryan has been going to Rushford for his behavior, etc.. He's met a boy there, same age, and they get along really well. I'm thrilled with this because Ryan doesn't have alot of friends, mostly because of his behavior. This boy does live in a different town, so chances are, after he leaves Rushford, they might not keep in touch. But for now, Ryan has a friend he talks with on the phone, etc. For this weekend, his friend had invited him to go to Six Flags and sleepover for this boys birthday. And Ryan wanted to go. I let the B.A. know that Ryan wouldn't be going for his visitation and Ryan's been really excited.

Now here's my dilemma. This morning his therapist called me to let me know in "program" yesterday, while during free time, he punched another kid in the stomach. He had also brought a gameboy to program, which is against the rules. Nevermind the fact that I took away his gameboy for the rest of the summer. Somehow he got his hands on Emilie's old one, and brought it to Rushford with him. So, what should his punishment be?

I'm torn on this one. On one hand, I know without a doubt that he shouldn't be able to go this weekend with his friend to Six Flags. But its killing me inside. Like I mentioned, he doesn't have alot of friends, and he's been looking forward to this for weeks. He normally doesn't get to do this extra kind of stuff with friends, or with us for that matter. (due to time and money). But I also know that he would "suffer" with this punishment and that it might actually impact him, and teach him that he can't do special things and hurt people.

One of the things he's been working on at Rushford is being aggressive. He really has problems with peer relationships. I was feeling optimistic because he hasn't been physical towards anyone at Rushford for over a month. And I feel as if it was looking positive that he wouldn't be physical towards anyone at school. And school really is the problem. If his behavior doesn't get straightened out this summer, he's not allowed to go back to the middleschool. And here it is, 5-6 weeks into him going to Rushford, we have a bill coming to us for almost $2000, and its almost as if there's no difference in his behavior compared to earlier in the summer. It almost makes me wonder if all this therapy isn't working.

As much as I would love to see Ryan become a "normal kid", I know his behavior isn't going to change overnight. And its not that he's not normal, its just that he's way too physical. I know kids learn by example, but here at home, we don't punch, kick, push,etc.. He has been diagnosed with ODD , and children with this are really more difficult to handle. Ryan is no exception. Not that its an excuse.

I've really gotten off track here, but really its just my dilemma. Can anyone think of a different punishment I could use, or would you agree that taking away this weekend is the right thing to do?

I just don't know what to do!