Funhouse mirrors

I just had my post written, and Matt came up to the computer and showed me how to get out of a game he usually plays on here..... yeah, I'm guessing it was the delete button, cause now I'm back to square one.

So anyway, I wanted to talk about my obsession. Its mirrors. Not just mirrors, but my reflection in the t.v., in windows, and in storefronts. Even my sister notices what I do, and tells me to knock it off! LOL

When I go to walmart, I go through the mirror section, where they have several different mirrors. Like the full-length mirrors that go on the back of a door. Well, they have what I call the "skinny mirror". Its the mirror that I'll stand in front of and exclaim in a low voice.."damn, I look good!" And then there's the other mirror... the one where I look slightly bigger....closer actually to what I used to look like, or more aptly named the "fat mirror". The thing is.. I don't know which one is right! Which I guess maybe is why I look at my reflection everywhere.

Anyway, because I've been losing the weight slowly, I don't really notice the difference. Sure, I'll look at pictures and stuff and I'm a couple of sizes smaller, but my mind set is where it was before... when I was fat. I don't know how or when I'll get past it, and I'm thinking that eventually I will. But as weird as it sounds (at least to me), I'm not happy yet. I'm down to weighing what I weighed on my wedding day 7 years ago, but still 40 pounds overweight, and its not good enough. I doubt I'll get down to the point where I'll look anorexic, but I want to look skinny, and I want to NOW! I'm tired of waiting for it, tired of working so hard for it, although I already hear the saying in my head that says... "it took me more than overnight to put it on, so it'll take time to take off".

I get compliments practically every day but I still see the flaws. But I am proud of myself. I didn't think I'd still being doing this by now. Okay, I'm off my high horse..lol Thats all for now....I hope I don't sound totally crazy, but after all, I probably am!