Something's up with my blog. Either I did something wrong or someone, somehow has been messing with it, but I'm going to try to figure it out. I usually am able to eventually figure out all this code stuff, but just takes me a little longer...lol
I think its close to noon and I find a clock and its not even 10! I've been getting up early....this morning 6:30, and tomorrow at 6:00, and Wednesday, the first day of school... that lovely piece of shit I call an alarm will go off at 5:30! I have enjoyed sleeping in this summer, but the days are about to get longer.
One more day. One more day. It seems thats what my focus has been the last 2 weeks... its been the countdown to school starting! I just did my dry run tonight for my bus run, and even though its mostly the same, I do have the new 4th graders and new kindergarteners. I spent the afternoon rearranging my livingroom, and its been so hot and muggy that even the slightest movement makes me sweat. We took down the tall bookshelf and I'm at a loss. I have all this stuff...special books that I don't want going on the kids' bookshelves, but no where to put it! And then there's the knicknacks... nowhere to put those either....
The good news is, that the muggy stuff is only sticking around till tomorrow, and the rest of the week will be in the mid-70's and dry! Just in time for school! Those schoolbuses get majorly hot inside! But just thinking that fall is right around the corner...I can't wait! I've even noticed some leaves changing already!
Wow, seriously boring post tonight... I apologize in advance for anyone who may read. Maybe once the kids start school I'll have something a little bit more interesting to write about!
I totally did not expect my post to cause such uproar...maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Anyway.....
Weigh-in was awesome today! After gaining 4.4 pounds last week I was pleasantly surprised to step on the scale this morning and see it register a 6.4 POUND LOSS!!! You won't see me complaining, thats for sure! I notice that whenever I have a gain, whether it be small, such as .4, or big, such as the whooping 4.4 of last week, that the next week I have a big loss. It almost makes me think I should do WW every other week, since my total for the month ends up being better with two big losses instead of 4 little ones.
Jen and my mom went dress shopping for her wedding, in the hopes of finding and finally deciding on a wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses. I wasn't able to go, since I was barracaded in my house with 7 kids, but apparently she found the dress she wants me to wear! She thinks so anyway. I'm too lazy right now to figure out how to post the link, but its strapless, in a ruby/dark pink kind of color with a criss-cross kind of fabric that crosses over in the midsection. I'm so excited! I can't wait to try it on! I know the strapless will look decent on me, but the size 10 dress that the store carries is unfortunately not going to fit me. But, I still can't wait! From what Jen is saying, she's going to put off dress shopping, or anything related to the wedding for the next 3 weeks. My poor sister has been trying to juggle buying a house, planning a wedding, and working extra for the extra $$$, along with packing. Her fiancee is in New Jersey for the moment at his job(he travels), so he isn't able to help with much. So, I'm hoping by the time I need to order the dress, which I think would be by December, I'll fit a little better into it to get a better idea of how it'll look!
The new Core Plan was introduced at my WW meeting today, but I think I'm going to pass. For right now, the Flex Plan seems to be working for me (when I follow it), so why mess with it if I don't need to. I've lost 53 pounds, only 50 more to go. I'm hoping that I can lose 30 by the end of the year. Which means I've fucked around enough (last weeks'candy bars!)and now I need to get serious. IF I stay on plan, I think its possible I could reach goal before the wedding. A big IF. I've been giving my sagging belly a peptalk every night hoping it'll shrink! LOL
God, I'm really rambling tonight....school starts on Wednesday! Molly starts preschool the following Wednesday, so then I can start working out again! This year 3 times a week! Have I mentioned how much I'm looking forward to going back to work? :)
So this is the post thats been swimming inside my head..."should I do it"?, "should I not"? I figure I don't have anything to lose. After all, this is MY blog, and this is where I should be able to write about anything at all. I kinda feel the need to "defend myself" per se, even if there's no need to do so.
But this is the thing. It turns out a blog that still happens to be on my blogroll, and that I should remove, went password protected because of ME! Its towards the top. I find it quite amusing really, but this girl obviously has the right to do whatever she wants to do, because after all, its HER blog. My irritability factor is that she can read my blog and I can't read hers. About my children and about my life. Now, if I was threatening this girl's life or "stalking" her, hey, I'd understand. And I could always move my blog and password protect it myself. The thing is... I'm really a nice person! Really, I am!
But truly, she's bad-mouthed me before. Her and I became friends , in real life, a few years ago. Its actually because of her that I got into blogging. I didn't even know what a blog was at the time. She hosted me for awhile, and I finally started up my own. Like most people who are friends, we've had fights. We got in a really bad one the first time and didn't speak for a few months....I didn't have my own blog at the time, and she really said some nasty things about me on hers. And I'm not perfect, I'll admit it. When she contacted me a few months later and wanted to be friends again, I relunctantly agreed... and things were great until she moved. It was a difficult time for her and I thought I was there for her as a friend. As upset as I was of her moving, I listened and supported, or so I thought. Distance proved to be too much though. I suggested at one point that she possibly didn't want to stay friends with me, and that was it! You're okay as long as you don't cross her, let me just say that.
We've had lots of good times. I'm the type of person to move on, and not hold a grudge, and right now I don't. I'm just sorry she didn't feel our friendship was worth holding on to. I was closer to her than my own family, at times. She felt like a family member, her child like a niece or nephew, her husband like a brother-in-law. But with one simple uncertain question it was gone. I thought to write this post, because after all that we had been through, she hates me this much to go to all the trouble of password protecting her blog.
Now, I know, I know... its her blog. People have many reasons for doing it, and its their right. But I'm not a bad person. I'm very friendly, relatively easy-going, a good mother, a good friend, and a good person. I can be bitchy and opinionated too. I think all of us can be at times. I'm just trying to be the best mother and wife that I can while making a few friends online.
So, if anyone out there has read anything about me, please don't believe it unless its good. Just remember, there are two sides of every story. And please refrain from any nasty commenting. Thanks!
Today was so long! I had the 7 kids from 7:30 a.m. till a little after 6 tonight. There was way too much fighting and bickering going on, and it was driving me crazy! I didn't have a car, which wouldn't have made a difference anyway, since I don't have enough room in my van for 8 people. And I didn't have a chance to write the post I had been talking about. And I was thinking about it... its not really something that I'll need advice on or anything.... I guess mostly I'll be venting. I will be writing it tomorrow morning though. Hope everyone has a great night!
...to the start of school! Exactly one week to be specific- and I can't wait!
Today I again have Chris' 3 nephews and niece, but its a easy day cause Chris is home...the day off thing, ya know? Anyway....this morning Matthew has his kindergarten orientation...again. I wanted to take him, but according to Chris, he never gets to do anything fun, so he got to take him! And I'm so nervous for Matt! This isn't his first time doing this.... he's repeating kindergarten this year, but he kept talking yesterday how he's "a little nervous". I reminded him a million times that he's going to have the same teacher and aide, so he'll know them already. Plus, a kid that was in his class last year, is also repeating, so he'll know him. And... one of his best friends from last year, well, his brother will be in his class too! So I just reminded him that he'll know some of the kids, and he'll be a leader this year! I'm really glad now that I decided to have him held back. I'd much rather have him stay back this year instead of having to do it once he's a little older. I think he definitely benefited from going last year, but considering he started school last year when he was only 4 years old, and didn't even turn 5 until December, he'll be a more average age this year.
Otherwise, nothing much going on around here. Chris and I are finishing our kitchen table today, and I have to remember to buy more paint to do a second coat on the livingroom walls. I need to try to exercise today too. Maybe typing it will make it happen easier? Yesterday I walked the track a bit after my work start-up meeting, and actually jogged a bit. Only around a 1/4 of the track, but its a start! I could burn so many more calories by running versus walking, and I think if I could get rid of the "jiggle when you run" fat, I wouldn't be as self-conscience.
Thats all for now. I'll be writing a doozy of a post tomorrow, so make sure you come back and check it out. And I'd love to hear some opinions of it too....so if you could , leave a comment or email me!
I survived-- barely! I couldn't WAIT for 5 o'clock to come, and since I was waiting for it, it took awhile, but isn't that always the way?
I ended up with 9 KIDS!! Way too many if you ask me! After I wrote my post yesterday I started organizing the day. Put all of them on a snack schedule....divided crackers into 9 individual baggies and put them in the cabinet so that when snack time came, I was prepared! Did a rotating schedule for the kiddie pool. Half hour for the boys, then half hour for the girls. Had to break up a few fights, punish a few kids, but whats really amazing is that I managed to accomplish ALOT around the house! How weird is that? Well, its weird for me, because even with my 4 kids, I can't seem to get much done. But I think the difference yesterday was that I couldn't sit down! I was on my feet all day...inside, outside, from one room to the next! I managed to straighten up my room, putting away all the clothes. Vacuumed every room, did dishes about 10 times, put away 3 loads of laundry in the kids' rooms, and managed to stay on top of the kids. Not bad, if I do say so myself! I'm thinking I even burned some calories!
I have a goal this week to walk at least 3 miles. That means I can do my WATP dvd 3 times this week, or more likely, I'll at least do the 2 mile, 2 times.
This morning I have my start-up meeting for work! Its at the middle school, so I'm going to send the kids to the playground afterwards and walk the track. As school gets closer, I feel like its my first day! I haven't sat in the drivers seat of a school bus since June 18th....which makes it 2 1/2 months ago! The kids obviously get nervous about the first day...the new kids, the new classroom, stuff like that. And ME, I have new kindergarteners on the bus, and all those parents (I was one myself at one time) who wait with their children at the bus stop, and just HAVE TO get a picture of their child getting on the bus, and I HAVE to be in the picture! Talk about stressful...lol I need to make sure I wear something extra-nice, and make sure my hair looks good!
Anyway, for today, I'm kidless, except for my own. Tomorrow I'll get the nephews and niece again, but at least I'll get today to recoup! Thank goodness!
I'm currently outnumbered. I mean, I always am anyway......one adult(me) and 4 kids, but now the amount has doubled! Today I am responsible for 8 kids! I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, but now its only 9:30 a.m., and OMG, I'm going crazy! I don't know what I was thinking!
Until school starts, I'm watching Chris' two nephews and niece. Thats 3 kids. In addition to my 4 kids. Since its still early enough to be thinking straight, I know the total is 7. Emilie's friend slept over last night, and I told her Mom this morning, that it wouldn't be a problem keeping her till 4 today...what's one more, right? Ages I have right now.... 11 yr old, 10 year old, 9 year old, 9 year old, 9 year old, 7 year old, 5 year old, and a 4 year old. Someone save me!!!
8 kids eat alot of food! Its apparent on this Monday morning, that the $160 worth of food I bought isn't going to last! They've already had breakfast, so thats out of the way, but they're already asking for snacks! And I'm sorry, but we're not eating every hour! Its been interesting keeping track of them all, and now I know why I'm on the computer.... I'm trying to escape from it all! LOL
I don't know how parents of more than 4 kids handle it all. I'm sure it has to do something with consistency, and a schedule. I don't have either one. As soon as I'm done here I think I need to put some kids to work. Maybe it'll keep them out of trouble!
Chris is back to work today too. It was nice having him home, for most of the week anyway. By the time Thursday rolled around, it was time for him to go back to work...lol With his usual work schedule, I never see him, unless its Sunday, and I'm just not used to having him home, but we did get alot accomplished.
The table is almost finished....we've put on our first coat of stain, and although its a little darker than I wanted, its looking gorgeous! On Wednesday we'll be using some fine steel wool on it, before adding the 2nd coat. We also got the livingroom walls painted, and they're looking alot better.. just need to paint the baseboards and window trim, and it'll be done! We steam-cleaned the carpets too. Its been a busy week! And then finally had our yard sale....Sunday was slower but we did well, and all the leftover baby clothes were dropped off at goodwill. Its been crazy! And only 9 days till school starts!! Yay!
Okay, what was I just thinking? The older girls asked if the "sleepover" girls sister could come over too, and I said yes?!?!?!
It might be almost time to break out the hard liquor... its going to be a fun day!
We stayed up late last night bringing stuff up from the basement for our tag sale. The alarm unfortunately went off at 6 a.m.! How the hell am I going to start getting up at 5:30 a.m. in a little over a week? lol
The day went well. We had thunderstorms forecasted , so we really were taking a chance setting everything up, and we only had to do the "mad dash" once! A quick 5 minute downpour, that had us rushing around throwing things in boxes and putting stuff under tables. It took us another 2 hours, without rain, to have the guts to put everything back out, but it worked out great! We had some pretty steady traffic, and made close to $100!
By 3pm, when we were packing everything up, the dark clouds rolled in again, and I must say, it worked out quite perfectly. lol Now, we just need to do it tomorrow, and whatevers left is getting thrown out, cause I'm not damn well putting it back into the house! LOL
Oh, and WW....bad weigh-in....gained 4 pounds! Thats what happens what I eat what I want. Back on program for me!
Its been an interesting week. Chris is off this week, and the plan was to get alot of things done. We went up to Vermont to visit Steph and her family on Sunday. Ended up heading back on Monday. Molly got sick... you know, the wonderful 24-hour bug. Gotta love it! I was lucky enough to not get it, thank goodness, but Matthew and Emilie ended up getting it too! So far, no one else. Knock on wood.
So this week, the plan was to finish priming the livingroom walls, and paint them. Sand down our 50 year old butcher block table, and re-stain it. And we did get that done! Well, the sanding part. It took forever! Hopefully we'll be staining it by the weekend. I absolutely love this table! Its been in our family since my Dad was a child, and its so sturdy! Its a long table, since my Dad was the oldest of 7, and has a long bench for one side. And because I'm the only one with a family big enough to use it, I got it! lol It was in really bad shape....the finish was coming off in some spots, and there's quite a few dings and dents in it, but as far as I'm concerned, it gives the table character! lol So, its been a big project but so worth it!
The walls we finished priming last night. We'll be painting them tonight......an oatmeal color. Not half as exciting as the mustard yellow that was on them, but the yellow was getting a little "old", and a little hard on the eyes!
2 weeks till school starts! Yay!! I'm very excited! I'm craving the solitude and schedule, but not looking forward to the 5:30 a.m. wake-up call! Also not looking forward to driving lots of kids to and from school in my big yellow school bus! LOL But I guess I have to give a little to get what I want! lol
Thats all for now..... I had written a post yesterday, but unfortunately Blogger wouldn't let me publish, so I'm back today to try again. Let's hope it works! I have a to-do list a mile long, so I better get started!
Hope everyone has a great end of the week!
....filming on Main Street in our little town! How cool is that! They need extras and Chris wants to go down, and maybe I should too! LOL
Not much happens around here, thats why I'm so excited! Actually nothing much EVER happens in our town, which actually is okay...thats why we like it here!
Next Wednesday, I'm there.
I need to clean. Not that my house is "dirty", but I need to pick up. Trying to have the place neat before we head to Steph's ,so we can come home to a clean house!
The kids want to take a walk. Matt and Molly, that is. Ryan and Emi are at daycamp and fortunate enough to be going to the movies! The Princess Diary 2.. I think thats what its called, and I wanna go! LOL As far as the walk goes, I need to exercise... but I have all this cleaning to do. I can't really get any fast walking in, because the little ones walk as slow as molasses. Those little legs, ya know?
WW has sucked this week! I ended up having a small dinner last night, so I had alot of points left. About 11! I bought twinkies. Its been a LONG time since I've eaten one, and they're only 3 points, but alas, not very healthy. I didn't count my FP, so I know I probably went over. Damn croutons! I don't crave chocolate or cookies, but keep me away from croutons! LOL
Anyway, I think I am going to do that walk... and then do my picking up, and then lunch, and my soap. Sounds like a plan. I might as well, since it'll be raining the whole weekend courtesy of Bonnie and whatever the C hurricane is!
Do I believe that things happen in three's? I'm not sure...seems like that ends up being the case though. We've had two things happen so far.... #1-Chris' car is toast...literally. #2- The refrigerator broke, and I was really close to throwing away tons of groceries I had bought on Sunday. Sooo...#3, where are you?
I have a swollen gum that's right at the tooth I had a root canal on 21 years ago. Maybe thats #3. It doesn't hurt, but there is a little bump on the gumline. I called a dentist, but need to call again.
Don't know what else it could be. Maybe Chris will lose his job. But unlikely. Anything's possible though. Car accident? God, I hope not, since we're down to 1 car now. We have a little less than 2 weeks to find another mode of transportation. Not much time.
Anyway, things are quiet around here. Ryan and Emi are at daycamp this week, so its just me and the little ones from 9-4. My mom stopped at bj's yesterday and brought us a multi-pack of Krusteaz pancakes and french toast. Damn, that french toast smells yummy! I won't allow myself to have any though...3 pts for 1 slice! I need to find something low fat to make that has cinnamon in it!
Gotta run... the laundry's calling my name!
Tonight, my husband actually left work early! 6 p.m.! Unfortunately, he had a problem on the highway.
Mind you, my husband, Chris , is a driving disaster. He always manages to get a flat tire, or something or other. He drives 45 minutes to and from work in his 1992 Toyota that we bought 3 years ago for $650, so its really a blessing that nothing had happened major up until this point.
Like I said, he left at 6, except I didn't know he was leaving early, so when the phone rang at 7:25, I'd assumed he was just leaving work.
He wants me to pick him up. Says he'll go into detail when I get there, but he left me hanging with the lonely fact that the fire department had to be called!!!
I finally get to where he is..a towing garage. He explains to me what happened.
He's driving along, smooth as can be, and hears a loud pop. He thought for sure he had blown another tire, until he looked in his rearview mirror and couldn't see past the smoke! He immediately pulled over, and through his window people were slowing down telling him his car was on fire!! No one even stopped to help him out, but he did get someone to call 911. I guess at this point there were flames shooting out from under the hood, and when a state police officer got there the fire was able to be put out with a fire extinguisher! The fire department showed up a minute later to finish putting it out, and Chris was told that if the officer hadn't gotten there when he had, the entire car would have been engulfed in flames!
He's so lucky. It was such a scary story to hear from my husband, and I'm so glad he's okay!
Now, somehow we need to find the money to get him another car! We can't afford payments, and to be totally honest, I'm not sure if we'd get a loan anyway, with our credit. But we'll figure something out. I'm just glad my husband is safe!
First, before I share what happened today, I just want to log in my weigh in for the week. I weighed in today, instead of tomorrow, so that Jen and I could go together. I lost 1 pound even. I'll take it. Better than nothing, I guess...lol
So, anyway, on with my story. This afternoon...actually dinnertime, one of Matthew's friends called up and asked if Matt could come over. He lives right around the corner, but to tell you the truth, I don't really want my kid hanging around with him. This little boy is one of the kids this past year that I had a really hard time with, listening wise,on the bus. At one point a police officer had rode my bus to keep him in line, and the little boy actually told him off! Rotten kid.
Apparently, this 6 year old child, will take the phone, HIDE in the house, and call kids up...this time Matt, and invite them over without the okay of his Mom. Matt answered the phone today, the boy asked him to come over, Matt asked me, I said no. Matt told me he'd walk there. Again, I said no. Can you see where this is going yet???
I was in the kitchen making dinner, and assumed that Matt was playing in his room. Until the phone rang. It was the boys mother. The first thing out of my mouth was "Is Matt over there?" I couldn't believe it! Matt had actually WALKED over to this kids house! He's only 5! Thank God its just around the corner, and we live in a quiet and safe neighborhood but still! I apologized over and over to this Mom, and she told him she'd bring him home for me in a few minutes. Now, I need to think of a punishment. I'm thinking I'll wait till Chris gets home to discuss it with him. I did give Matt a talking to, and put him in his room for the night, but my son needs to know without a doubt that what he did is wrong! I want to keep in mind that he's only 5 though, so I don't want to make the punishment too long, because it'll feel like an eternity for him.
I feel like a horrible mother! I should have known where my kid was! Instead, he was actually walking down the road with bare feet, and I just "assumed" he was playing quietly in the house somewhere.
Last night I went to bed with the humidity hanging around almost 100%, and the bedroom a/c going full blast. This morning I wake up freezing my ass off, because I would swear its October! Its only 65 degrees, and I love it! From what I've heard, its supposed to be a high of 68! I love,love,love, this kind of weather!
Yesterday I went to the outlet mall in search of a few gifts, and to just try on some clothes, to see what size I can fit into. And although I don't have the guts to type the size right now, I can tell you that the size I fit into , I haven't worn since Emilie was a toddler....8 years ago! I was so excited that I bought a jean skirt to wear out on Chris' and my 7 year anniversary in 2 weeks. Nevermind the fact it'll be too big for me in another few months, but it was a steal with all the clearance sales going on!
Have I mentioned that my newest goal is to lose another 30 pounds by the end of the year? I'm hoping its possible, and as long as I lose my average of 6-7 pounds a month, it will be. Its kinda scary for me though. I mean, I haven't been down to the weight I am now in YEARS. My goal weight for the end of the year, I haven't seen in over 10 YEARS. If I reach that mini-goal, I'll have lost 80 pounds, and I'll only be 20 away from my final goal! It just blows me away!
But its baby steps for me. I can't get over my head. I need to take it one day at a time, one morsel of food at a time. This is a way of life for me... I honestly can't feel I could start eating like I had been before, since I've been doing WW for awhile now. I do have slip-ups,because after all, there are some foods I have a problem saying no to.
Now that I just realized I went talking about my weight for awhile, I should get going, and do something in this cool weather...I'm even going to get my WATP 3 mile tape in today! Fun, fun.
I'm stressed. August is here, and the kids as well as I are ready for school. I just wrote a huge post about the biological asshole, hit a key, and poof, it was gone! It just added a little more stress to my morning. I'm pissed now! But I'm going to write it again, because I need to get it out of my system. I have to! I'm in a no win situation here and its killing me! But be forewarned, its long....
Every Saturday when the kids come home from their visitation with the biological asshole, I ask them how their day was. I'll ask them what they did, etc...stuff like that. Ryan informed me the other day, that while riding in the car, on numerous occassions, the asshole will tell him to shut up! Now, I'll admit, I've been known , once in awhile to say the exact same thing to my kids. I'm not proud of it, but I spend 12+ hours a day with them, so there comes a point in my day that I want some peace and quiet. But the asshole spends 6 hours a week with him! As far as I'm concerned, there's no excuse! While probing a little more into Ryan's mind, he told me that while in the car with the asshole and his "fiancee" (4th one, I might add!)...the two of them call me names! Apparently, IN FRONT OF MY KIDS, I've been called a bitch, a fuckin asshole, among other things! I'm pissed!
There's no excuse for it. I make a HUGE effort every week, to talk "nice" in front of the kids. I'm a very angry person when it comes to discussions about the asshole, but keep it limited to when the kids are in bed, and writing about it on here.
A couple of months ago, the kids told me that the asshole was telling them, that I was a "pain in his ass". At that point, I politely asked him to refrain from talking about me that way in front of them. Obviously, he hasn't!
So, what to do, what to do. Nothing can be done! That's probably why its bothering me so much! The court system wants whats "in the best interest of the children", but doesn't really follow through with that. Is it in the best interests of the kids to have to wait by the front window waiting for the asshole, with tears running down their face, because they realize he isn't going to show up? NOPE. Is it in the best interests of them to have the asshole cancel 14 times in a 12 month period? NOPE. I brought him to court to change visitation because he wasn't keeping with our "written agreement", and did the judge agree to change it? NOPE. She didn't see "sufficient evidence" to change it. Even though I had everything documented! How is it they want whats best for the kids?
My kids now have an unstable life. They go with someone who "loves them" every Saturday. This poor excuse for a human being doesn't love them enough to pay child support, nor to be able to keep a job. This asshole lives off of other people, and will always be that way. He owns 3 cars, had a brand new computer bought for him, doesn't have to pay bills, doesn't have to pay up for the kazoo for health insurance that MY HUSBAND is providing to the children he considers his own.
I'm just feeling very hopeless. I want to get a lawyer. Take away his rights. I don't care anymore about the $8000 in arreage he owes me for child support. I just want him gone. I can't understand how he can disappear for years , living his own life, while I care for them everyday, making sure what they need, they have. And how the courts are just eager to make a biological father a part of his kids life. He gets rights, where are mine? I don't have any choices. He can do what he pleases, and I can do nothing about it! He can waltz into their lives, as quickly as he left 8 years ago, and the court system is all for it! All I want to do is protect my kids, and they don't give a shit!
I know someday Ryan and Emi will see the asshole for who he really is. And I know I probably should have thought about all this before I got pregnant. All I can do now, is try to raise them the best I know how, and hope that the bad influence the asshole is giving them, won't make a difference in the end.
But, damn, this is going to be a LONG 9 years!
Married to Chris, with four fast growing kids ..Ryan(14),Emilie(13), Matt(10),and Molly(8). Part-time school bus driver, full-time Mom! And unfortunately, never enough time for myself!
