Wanted dead or alive

The kids came home this afternoon, and I just had to get all the dirt on the happenings of this wedding. Emilie came home wearing new clothes...to match her new sister...lol They told me that there weren't alot of people there, and that they went and got married at a FUNERAL HOME!!! I can't help it... I've been cracking jokes all night because of it! Why, why, why??? Why would they want to get married at a funeral home? lol Too funny!

Maybe the B.A. wanted to get hitched before he goes to jail ;)

Just had to share this new tidbit.

WW weigh-in

Lost weight again for the 3rd week in a row! 1.6 pounds lost. I'm 1 pound away from my pre-Christmas weight. And I think I've finally figured out how to lose an average amount per week. Next week will tell for sure. Instead of having a big splurge on Saturday and using the majority of my flexpoints, I've been spreading them out more. I'm thinking that the extra calories spread out more evenly throughout the week, gives less of a shock to my body, and therefore I lose more. I'm going to do the same thing this week, and see what happens. Cause if I can lose an average of 1-2 pounds a week, like I should be, I'll make it to goal in no time, and exceed my goal for Jen's wedding.

Its exciting to think that after almost a year, I think I just may have gotten the hang of it!

Too much for me to handle! LOL

Last week when the kids came back from their time with the B.A. they told me that this week what they were doing was a surprise. And the B.A. had told them if I wanted to know what they would be doing, I would need to ask.

So today, he pulls up in the driveway, and is sitting there waiting for the kids to come out. I went out there and asked him what the plans were for today. He started in on the whole song and dance..."why does it matter to you. I'm not allowed to plan a surprise for my kids? and.. I have access to my kids from 9-3, and I can do anything I want to with them" Yada,yada,yada...
He finally told me though. The kids were thinking they were going to Chuck E. Cheese, or sledding or something to that effect.

The B.A. tells me "I'm getting married today" . WTF?!?! Oh my god, I just about lost it. I had tears practically leaking out of my eyes. Not because I'm upset. Quite contrary, I thought it was funny! I said "poor girl, she doesn't know what she's getting into", and "better her than me", and just walked away. LOL

But gosh, my poor kids! Here they think they were getting to do something fun. Why on earth would he think this would be a good "surprise" for them? I came back in the house as the kids were coming out, and told them it wasn't a fun surprise and left it at that.

What was the B.A. thinking? As far as my adult thinking allows, this is NOT a good thing to spring on kids! As far as my children's new "Stepmother" goes, I feel sorry for her, just because I can't believe she would get herself involved with him. Of course, she'll figure that out awhile down the road, when he's unable and unwilling to support her and her kids. And since this is her 3rd of 4th marriage, no doubt she'll divorce him in the future. And really, it obviously doesn't concern me. I could care less. Its just that my kids were going into today thinking they would be having a fun surprise. Too funny also because he was wearing his regular "scumbag" clothes, and hadn't shaved,etc. Gee, happy marriage to them! LOL

Now that they actually got married, even though it was 5 months later than planned, I have a renewed hope that he WILL actually move far, far, away. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

We're getting old!

So, today is Chris' birthday. He's 33! He's working a full day today so won't be home till 9, and he's decided that we'll celebrate on Saturday. I don't know what to get the guy! The only thing he wants is a playstation 2, and thats not happening! lol

Oh yeah, I can't wait for income tax returns!

More snow?!?!?!

Just as we're finally digging out of this blizzard, and the roads are finally visible, we're getting more snow!

I was talking today to some of the gals from work, and we were all thinking we would have a mild winter. Heck, last month we had a Saturday in the upper 50's and it was glorious! But turns out it was just a delayed winter. From what I can gather from the various news stations, we're getting anywhere between 1-7 inches. Not a big storm by any means, but I know the total will fall towards the upper range, and it means that we won't have school tomorrow. On one hand, I'm ok with it, but on the other, I need the money! I'm ready for Spring! For the daffodils to bloom, to shed our winter coats, to feel the warmth of the sunshine! I have a feeling I still have awhile to go for that one though.

Otherwise, nothing much going on around here. I lead quite a boring life. Doing well so far on my eating this week, even resisting the temptation of cookies. Chris' birthday is on Thursday, so I'm trying to save my flexpoints for the cake. I'm contemplating making it with diet coke. It wouldn't be a big deal for Chris because he drinks diet coke, and it would make it moist and low in calories. We'll see. I also forgot to mention.... My future SIL joined WW! She's on week 2 right now and so far loves it! I'm excited, because it adds another person into our "support group". Support is so important while losing weight.... I think I probably would have quit by now if it wasn't for Jen.

Anyway, I'm rambling, and I should probably get the kids ready for bed. Chris is working yet another late night so its just me doing the bedtime routine.

Adios!

Shoveling out

This morning we woke to find roughly 2 feet of fresh snow! Its hard to tell exactly how much actually fell because of the high winds and snowdrifts, but regardless, its a helluva lot of cold white stuff!

The kids were in a huge rush to get outside! Chris decided to start on the shoveling while they played and I wish to God I had a digital camera....the kids were hilarious! Molly couldn't even walk in the snow... it was up practically to her waist, and in the snowdrifts, forget about it...we could have thrown her in and lost her! I did myself venture into the snow, very briefly. Now as an adult it isn't as much fun. Especially when there are ground blizzards whipping 30mph grains of snow into your face.

Now here is the biggest shocker of all. Me, Amy, who used to weigh 70 pounds heavier, actually yelled at Chris for shoveling too much! I actually WANTED to shovel. For the EXERCISE! Its still so weird for me to like exercising, and like sweating. At times, I wonder who I am. I spent almost 2 hrs shoveling the driveway! And for WW, I earned activity points, which if I redeem, I could eat more food. I burned alot of calories. But, its just weird. I've changed so much in that aspect.

So now we're all done with the snow. The older kids lasted about an hour, and now we're all inside, and hopefully staying inside for the rest of the day. Taking this opportunity to get alot done around the house. Tomorrow, hopefully, (I'm keeping my fingers crossed), will be a regular day of school with no delay.

Hope everyone stays warm!

WW weigh-in

I lost 3.2 this week! Sad to say, I'm still 2.4 pounds above what I weighed a week before Christmas. But I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

Last night at the grocery store I had a slight wavering of willpower. I was wandering the isles, trying to think of some snacky foods to get this weekend while snowbound, and got in the mentality of "I'll just take the weekend off, and start back on Monday". I mean, who wants to eat healthy food while watching a movie and snuggling in front of the fireplace? Not me!

But then what would happen is ,I wouldn't have a clue how many flexpoints I used eating all the crap, and so I'd be so frazzled I'd just take the whole week off. And then I'd GAIN! I don't want to gain. Jen's wedding is now 3 months away, and I can't afford to gain.

So I caught myself. I was right on the edge, ready to give in to my cravings, and figure, I can still have my cravings. Those pizza rolls I got? I'll only have 6, instead of eating out of control. The chips? I'll pull out my trusty scale, and measure out 1 oz. The movie theater butter popcorn? I will have to pass that up and eat my lowfat variety, that actually isn't too bad sprayed with fake butter.

In another 2 weeks, It'll be my 1 yr anniversary of starting weight watchers. I'm so close to goal. I CAN do this. I WILL do this!

We're in for it

Just watched the weather.

Blizzard warning in effect 11am Sat - Sun 1pm

15-20 inches expected!

Looks like we'll be snowed in for awhile.

Just think of me stuck in my house with 4 cranky children.

Maybe I should pick up a little alcohol while out tonight? I just might need it!

Not much going on around here. I'm just cold. Can't think of much to write about either. We're due for a snowstorm this weekend, so I'm planning on hitting the grocery store tonight, and staying indoors.

I was going to say something about WW but I don't want to jinx my weigh-in tomorrow. My Mom and I have spent the last 3 days visiting possible bridal shower sites, and I think we may have it down to two places, finally!

Anyway, thats all. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Brrrrrr!!!!

Way too damn cold for me! Granted, its not as cold as some parts of this country, but cold enough...thankyouverymuch! Below zero with the wind chill-the one not so good thing with living right on the water.

Yesterday we spent indoors all day long. I got a lot of stuff done, including deep cleaning the livingroom. The kids actually behaved for the most part, and we resumed work and school today. I've devised this great plan that I'm entirely too excited about. In addition to planning Jen's bridal shower I've decided to transform my basement into a family room/playroom! I've tried in the past to do this, but because of lack of storage it didn't work out. But I'm planning on moving our loveseat down there, in order to put my computer desk in the corner of our livingroom. We also have a recliner down there. We're possibly getting a new t.v. from Chris' work, and I'm planning on hitting Ikea for some storage containers and lighting, and possibly a coffee table. I'm either going to find or make some wooden shelves that will cover the majority of a wall for toys, etc. And I'm going to get crafty and make some curtains and who knows what else! So, thats my plan. We'll see if it actually happens though ;)

Otherwise, not much going on around here. Molly and I are hibernating until we go back to work this afternoon, and I'm crossing my fingers that my oil doesn't burn too fast with this cold weather!

Hope everyone has a great day!

Another day in court

I was doing so well writing a post everyday! And then things got way too busy around here. But anyways.

I had court on Thursday. Again. This time for the motion for modification that the B.A. had filed. I ended up forgetting about it and racing up there just in time for court to start. We ended up being called/seen by 11:30, and since the courtroom was practically empty I thought for sure we'd be out of there before lunch, but I was wrong.

I have to say though, the judge that was there, the same judge we had last time for child support, totally kicks ass! She's awesome! She doesn't take any crap..... she'll put anyone in their place for talking out of turn, or interrupting her. And I got to be entertained too! She had 2 people incarcerated that day! You sit there listening to the case, and right before your eyes, the police people, whoever they are, start coming out one by one surrounding the person standing in front of the judge. They get handcuffed and walked off. Makes the day more interesting anyway.

So, when we had met with childsupport enforcement, it was decided, according to the state guidelines that the B.A. should be paying $81 a week, and $16 in arreage. That would be the change from $72/week , and $53 in arreage! I was prepared to battle. We finally got our turn in front of the judge , and were the last ones there. She actually scolded him for filing the papers for modification while he's in the middle of being held in contempt! I guess its not the best time to do it while in trouble. So she kept the $$ amounts the same, thank goodness. She said that when we go back next month for childsupport, he can bring what paperwork he has for his workers' comp case, and a decision will be decided then. And get this: the B.A. did lots of talking out of turn, and interrupting, so Miss Judge really isn't liking him!

So on the 17th of next month, we go back for the contempt of child support. At that time, the B.A. needs to bring with him $800 or he'll be going to jail. Well, HE thinks that if he brings papers from his workers' comp case saying that the arreage will be paid off with the settlement, that he doesn't have to bring the $800! Totally not the case. He's fully expected to bring the money, regardless of what happens with workers' comp. I don't think he knows that. ;)

The judge court appointed him a lawyer, so she must apparently feel he's in trouble too. Is it wrong of me to cross my fingers and hope he goes to jail? The thing is, is that I've been doing this for so many years, and countless times I've stood in front of the judge, and asked that he be incarcerated, yet they always give him another chance. I mean, if he wants to bring the money and be responsible and everything, then I don't necessarily want to see him go to jail, but I deserve to be paid back the thousands of dollars he owes me!

Anyway, it was a very interesting day, and I'm actually looking forward to going to court next month!

I'm so proud of her!

We went out once again to look at bridesmaid dresses. This time with the other bridesmaid, who is a perfect size 8. Perfect for trying on those totally imperfect size 10 bridesmaid gowns, that you know everyone fits into!

She decided on a dress! I'm so proud of my sister with finally coming to a decision! This is it! Isn't it just too pretty!? I love it because it has the wrap that goes to one side that perfectly covers the tummy bulge. I don't however, love the price, but hey, what am I going to do about it. The worst part about it is that they did my measurements, and there are 6 sizes separating my hips from my bust! I'm 6 sizes smaller in the boob area, than my hips. It sucks. And because of that, and nevermind the designer sizes run small anyway, I had to order the dress in my OLD SIZE! Then I'll have to spend tons of money on alterations, because the top will be huge on me. It sucks.

But hey, she picked a dress! Yay!!!

WW Weigh-in

Not a good week. Well, not a really, really, good week. I did so well this week...did cardio 4 times, and the exercise dvd once. Ate well up until yesterday. The scale was showing a 3-4 pound loss, so I took it upon myself to splurge a bit. And then went out last night and got a drink and some munchies.

Lost .8

Serves me right. But heck, at least it wasn't a gain.

An hour in the life of me

First of all, before I write was I was going to write , I wanted to mention a weird thing that just happened to me. I signed in to Blogger to write this post, and instead of my dashboard, I got a huge list of all these websites, as if they were my own! I was nice, because I could have gone into them and messed with the template and change settings and even write a post on them but I didn't. Isn't that just messed up?

Anyway...I have a joke to tell. Here it is!

Whats worse than driving a schoolbus full of 35 kids, while listening to Molly sing the dreidle song over and over and over again, and listening to the other kids sing jingle bells as loud as they can pretending they're cats?

I'm not sure what the answer is. lol I'm sure there are many worse things.... they could have been screaming, but at the moment, nothing else comes to mind.

Fingernails on a chalkboard, anyone?

What do YOU think?

Its gonna be a good week!

I'm really am phyched for this week. As far as WW goes anyway. WW was giving away exercise dvd's.... just a little 30 minute one. Jen and I agreed that we would either hit the gym or do the dvd every single day.

Yesterday, it was the gym. Chris stayed home with the kids while I went, and I got in a great workout! Today I was there again! Go me! Did 30 min of cardio and 2 sets on the weight machines. Tomorrow, I'll be home doing the dvd. I'm doing great with my eating, and I'm optimistic (fingers crossed) that I'll lose at least 3 pounds this week. I really want to lose at least 5 but don't know how possible that'll be, so I'm keeping it at 3. The reason why I'm so fired up to lose that much is because of my big gain these last few weeks. I want to get back down to the weight I was before Christmas.

Jen gave me a little "talking to" on Saturday, telling me it seemed like I was "falling off the wagon", and although she wasn't totally on the mark with that one, she's kinda right. I've been halfheartedly following the plan for a week, and unless she cracks down on me, I'd be stuck in a rut.

The countdown to the wedding begins..... 3 months, 13 days. I have this time to get myself in a condition to look good in a strapless dress. I want to lose at least 15 more. I think I can do it!

Time to sign up

Due to my lack of parenting skills, my kids have become out of control. As in swearing, hitting, and fighting. Nevermind the unwillingness to help around the house, even if I drag them around by their arm and try to "make" them.

So since I'm having a hard time with this parenting stuff and obviously am clueless how to make my little darlings cooperate I'm going to apply to be on Nanny911 and Supernanny . Of course, I'll be 1 in 1,000,000 that'll be applying but I REALLY, REALLY, need the help.

I wish this parenting stuff was a little bit easier.

Forgot to mention

That @ Weight Watchers today the scale showed a 6 pound gain! I wasn't surprised though, and know that this past week I lost 4 out of my 10 pound gain, and didn't even stay *exactly* on plan. This is a new week though and I'm going to kick ass!

What a waste of time

I had yet another run-in with the B.A. today. In addition to it being a huge waste of time, it also affects me and the kids. Its not worth it. I need to learn to just walk away. But this jerk just gets my blood boiling!

Ever since I mentioned something to him 2 weeks ago about the court papers he filed without telling me, he's been steering clear. Which is totally okay with me, but at the same time, I think I should be able to at least have the opportunity to come into contact with him, in case I need to cancel or speak with him about the kids. He's been pulling up in the driveway and sitting there. Waiting for the kids to come out. I am very protective of my kids, and no matter who they're with, I like to have a general idea of where they'll be. I usually will ask the B.A. what the plans are for the day. Not to keep an eye on him, but to at least know where my kids will be. So, since he wasn't coming to the door this morning, I asked Emi to ask him what the plans were for today and let me know. She came back in the house and said that he didn't answer her and just said "get your brother now so we can go".

So, of course, I had to get my coat on, and go out in the pouring rain to ask him myself. And that was the only thing I asked. It apparently was enough for him. He had the window down and started yelling at me, telling me its wasn't my "damn business" what he was doing with HIS kids. He was pointing his finger in my face, yelling loud enough for the neighbors to hear, telling me I'm a bitch and need to shut the f*ck up! Then proceeded to tell me that I talk down to him and called me more names. In front of the kids.

This is where I should have walked away. But I didn't. I told him, like I've told him before, that its nothing personal about my question. I ask the same thing when my Mom or my sister has them. I was proud of myself though... I stayed calm. I told him he was setting a bad example for the kids, and there was no reason to talk to me that way.

I'm still standing there taking his shit when he tells me all I want is money for MYSELF! Saying that the kids wear the same clothes on the weekends for months so I must not have bought them anything. I tell him that $72/wk for 2 children is NOTHING, and that the childsupport is providing them a roof over their head, and clothes on their back, and heat , along with the food,etc. Us REAL parents know what raising children is all about. He doesn't. I also told him that I have a husband that works 50-60 hrs a week, and that I definitely don't use the childsupport on myself. And that maybe he should work more than 30 hrs a week and then he wouldn't be poor. God, what a waste of time and energy this was!

I'm sooo tired of defending myself. I don't have the willpower to walk away. I need to find the willpower to walk away. Ryan had told me not to "start anything" which I'm sure came out of the B.A.'s mouth. Emilie decided not to go. Ryan decided to still go. After he left I asked Emi why she didn't want to go. And it turns out the B.A. yells at them all the way back to his house! And complains about me to them! My poor kids! There's nothing I can do to stop this shit from happening to them. I tried not to start anything today, but just wanted to know where they'd be, at least in general. And the SOB started on me. I want to protect my kids, yet how can I? I'm in a losing situation here. I'm the kids primary caregiver, yet when Ryan and Emi are with the jerk, he does nothing but talk bad about me, and I'm the one that has to deal with them calling me the same names he calls me! I've gone to court, tried limiting the visitations times, and the judge just doesn't care. How can they say they want whats in the "best interest of the child" when they refuse to remedy a situation such as this one?

One of these days Ryan and Emi will know for themselves how he is. Until then I just keep my mouth shut around them, and have to wait for them to figure it out for themselves.

But, damn, its so hard!

Snow Day

The kids and I are home from school today! I wish I had a camera to take a picture of the back yard... its so pretty. The heavy snow is making all the branches on the trees and bushes hang low.

Right now its doing a nice little drizzle thats sure to ice coat everything. Emilie is outside shoveling, with the expectation of money. I really wish the kids could go outside. They probably could but with the rain and all, I'm not too keen on it.

My Mom's in St. Thomas right now... .I wish I was there. And as much as I like being able to stay home instead of driving the bus in this shit.... the kids have already driven me batty! I guess this is my opportunity to put away some laundry, and maybe get my ass outside to shovel for a little exercise. Won't be hitting the gym tomorrow afterall....doing more dress shopping. Maybe Jen can pick a dress this time. lol

Hope everyone has a great day!

Wedding shower dreams

I'm obsessed with planning Jen's wedding shower. Every spare second I'm online, I'm looking up ideas. Its driving me crazy! I can't go to sleep because I lay there thinking about it. I dream about it!

I don't want to say too much because once in awhile Jen actually reads this blog. This is the first shower I've actually planned, and while I know it won't be hard, there's alot of details that need to be addressed. Jen's other bridesmaid, Lisa and I have been emailing back and forth to get the ball rolling. And I think that once we finally decide where its going to be, and start working on the smaller stuff, I won't feel so overwhelmed. In the meantime, I think I'll probably keep on dreaming about it ;)

What a deal!

The last minute person that I am, I headed out this morning to find boots for Matt. Since its currently snowing, I figured he'd need them. I didn't want to spend too much , considering he won't fit into them next year, but thought I could find a good price at walmart or payless. Turns out they were $20 at both places, and I found a pair of Columbia's at Marshalls for $16! I also bought Molly a 3-piece Fila warm-up suit for $10! Not too shabby. eh?

I love finding good deals!

peace and quiet

Gotta love it. As much as I simply adore my children, there's always something about getting back into routine.

Today wasn't too bad either. I usually despise Monday's... not just because its the beginning of a new work week but because I need to wake the little ones at 6 am and take them with me to work. Its usually the bouncing back and forth between the kids and Chris trying to wake them up. Then its the whining and moaning because of course, they don't want to wake up when its dark out! But this morning was different. I had a really bad night sleeping....both Matt and Molly climbed into our bed no less than 3 times. And of course, I was the one to get up and put them back in their beds. Matt was in our bed this morning when I got up but Molly had finally stayed in hers. While I was making coffee she stumbled out of bed headed to mine, and I called her into the livingroom. Turns out this little beauty of mine is happiest the earlier she wakes! She was all smiles and totally okay with staying up. I managed to get Chris up within 10 minutes and even got Matt up without him crying. We even made it out of the house with smiles on everyone's face! Usually on a typical Monday, Chris and I have had a mini-argument on something , and I end up completely frustrated.

Then after work I got to go to the gym for the first time in 2 weeks. Its amazing really, because I felt absolutely sucky these 2 weeks eating junk food, and because of feeling so bad, didn't feel "good". Make any sense? So the gym made me feel like my "new self" again. And then came home to a QUIET house! I loved it! lol Really, it doesn't take much to make me happy. ;)

I got dinner made early, did the dishes early, and even threw in a load of laundry. The day has been good to me. (Now if I could only stay away from the chocolate chip cookies!)

Anyway, thats about as exciting as it gets around here. I'm off to ready the kids for bed!

Must get a new refill

Last year, when at my highest weight, I was diagnosed with asthma. I was put on a daily and albuterol inhaler to use when needed. The most problems I ever had was when at Jen's house with her cats. My chest would tighten up, and I'd have the hardest time breathing...my lungs just wouldn't feel as if they were inflating. And then I'd have a panic attack because I couldn't get in a deep breath.

So then I started losing weight, and the problems seemed to diminish. I'm allergic to cats, so I would feel the familiar stuffiness and sneezing, etc. but the tightness wasn't so bad. About that time, one of Jen's cats passed away, and I thought that particular cat might have been the problem.

So anyway, last night I was at my brother's house for New Year's Eve and they have cats, so I had the normal sniffling and sneezing. I was back over there this morning, and then at my sister's tonight for dinner, and the old familiar feeling came back and I started to panic. I haven't been using my inhalers and my albuteral one is out... I never refilled it. And now I'm suffering. I feel so horrible! I think I might have overdone it exposing myself, and now I'm stuck without any relief. Its not bad enough to go to the E.R. but bad enough to make me uncomfortable. Looks like first thing on Monday I'll be giving the Dr's office a call, and in the meantime I should stay away from all cats. And of course, kicking my one last bad habit will help for sure. That's the next step. It's great that I'm becoming healthier...losing weight, eating healthier, exercising, but I need to kick the smoking habit to be the healthiest I can be.